Something happened when I turned 42. Although I hate to admit that I am getting older, there’s this thing I can’t avoid. Yes, I have to use glasses now! I noticed right around the time of my 42nd Birthday. The words on the page became blotchy and blurry. I kept excusing it as just being too tired or saying my eyes weren’t quite awake in the mornings. And the headaches must have meant I needed more coffee. I could get by reading by moving the page further away to adjust my focus. Then one day, I was standing in front of my fridge starring at the family photos held with magnets there, and I had to move back to focus on the people in the pictures. However, even in moving a good distance away, I noticed the images I once saw clearly were now rather blurry. That’s when I knew it was time to have my eyes checked.
Well, several months passed, and although I owned of a nice pair of readers, I still put off getting them out and putting them on. Then, about a year later, when I had my eyes checked again, I discovered I needed a new prescription, accompanied with the need for wearing glasses all the time.
It’s interesting that as I dealt with my vision issues due to aging, I also dealt with another kind of blurry vision. Due to many setbacks in ministry and personal life, I was left a little dazed and confused. I can’t describe it any other way but that I sometimes felt a little lost. In all the areas of my ministry life, I had usually known what to do next, or felt that God-given inspiration and creativity to teach, or sing or plan the next thing. Then, I found myself in a fog, where it seemed that anything and everything was a struggle to plan and carry out.
I never lost my purpose or calling. I clearly knew that God had called me and I would continue to serve Him with all that was in me. Just as I said at that time, I will continue to declare: Prayerfully, I seek Him. Joyfully, I thank Him. Lovingly, I surrender to His will.
I have learned that much of my feelings are due to circumstances out of my control. People leaving, ministries changing, friends bailing, and finances dwindling, are all the bumps and jolts we deal with along life’s way. Despite many uncertainties in a world spiraling out of control, I hold fast to the truth that my God has never, and will never fail or change.
So what do I do about the blurry vision I experience in my life and ministry? I continue to honor God in all I do. Even without a clear sense of direction, I can still move forward by trusting Jesus to see me through each day. The key to clear vision in my life and ministry is that I must look through the lens of His Word. God’s Word tells me to “fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith” (Hebrews 12:2). 
Just as He first gave me vision, he is also perfecting my vision as I look to Him. The Bible also says that “those who look to Him are radiant” (Psalm 34:5). Maybe that’s why in the midst of the fog, I may feel lost, but not forgotten, dazed, but not depressed, overwhelmed, but not panicked, confused, but still trusting God’s faithfulness. I hold to His steadfast love and those mercies that are new every single morning. (See Lamentations 3:22-23) In fact, I am now more aware than ever that each day is a fresh start. I literally feel, notice, await and anticipate God’s mercies with each new sunrise.
As I put on my glasses and read from God’s promises I see His beauty clear and bright all around me. I sense He is making my life and ministry beautiful and new in His time and way. I guess I just need to get use to depending daily on the clear vision He brings through His Word. And while I am at it, I will also get use to putting my glasses on and accept whatever other changes come my way.
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