“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12
Just as I am drifting off to sleep, I see it. I’m trying to stop and rest, but can’t get the picture out of my mind:
I am on the fast-moving run/walk way in the airport in Charlotte, NC. As I stand there, I see the rows of white wooden rocking chairs…so enticing. Oh how I would love to stop and rock for a few minutes. Or better yet, sit down with all my kids lined up and just relax, laugh and talk and reminisce to when I held each one on my lap and rocked them through a restless night, sang a lullaby to soothe their unrest or fear, read that favorite book just one more time as the chair creaked and rocked away the ticking time. That hard, somewhat awkward shaped chair would be quite uncomfortable when sitting alone, but with a baby in the arms to nurse, or a toddler with her arms hung around your neck, that same rickety chair felt so plush and warm. Many a prayer had been prayed, trillions of tears had been wiped, dozens of stories told, heart-tanks had been love-filled, and emotions soothed by the countless hours of rocking back and forth, creaking out a counter rhythm to the beating heart pressed up against mine.
When did I step on this fast track? As I glide by the rows of rockers, I regret not taking the slower path. Of course, time is the issue. We are on our way to our connecting flight. That’s just it! We are always on our way to the next connection, next deadline, next meeting, rehearsal, or church service. They are all mostly wonderful, meaningful connections, and purposeful plans to be kept, but I just can’t seem to get off the fast moving walkway. I just stand there looking back at the rows of rocking chairs we are passing by. I long to stop, turn around and go back, or somehow hop over the rail onto the solid, move-at-your-own-pace path. But it just keeps moving. And I know I must continue on until I reach the destination.
There is just never enough time! Even now as I write, time taunts and ticks on, sleep is stolen, hours robbed from the next day’s fast track I feel stuck on.
I thought I had the time this week. The plans were made. The intentions were well thought out. And yes, there was some rest, family memories were made. Yet, the crucial moments and conversations with each of my children were crushed by frustration and fatigue, and the never-ending interruptions of life. The moments are muddled many times by my own distractions and other times by the seemingly urgent situations that I run to.
The track just keeps carrying me along, further and further from those rocking chairs.
Maybe it’s my age. Or could it be that I am reeling with the fact that my first baby is only weeks away from graduating from High School? Or perhaps, that my youngest baby still needs to crawl up into my lap and be held and rocked (only now without our rocking
chair)? Come to think of it, each of those 5 babies still need some affection, time in the rocking chair, or some quality time with mom. Only, I keep getting carried away on this fast-moving track. Can’t someone slow it down? Isn’t there a switch to slow the treadmill of life? Or couldn’t there be an exit from the track for just a few moments to sit and rock in an old wooden rocker?
Oh how I long to teach my children: “Remember thy creator in the days of thy youth…” Now is the time, because their youth is moving by so fast. Mine has been slipping by so quickly.
Oh that I may learn to number my days, count my blessings, choose to add joy to each day, savor the changing seasons, spend time baking dozens of cookies with my children, share dozens of stories together, laugh and play and create together, read and discuss chapters of God’s truth, sing and speak life-giving words. Oh that I would pass on my passions as time passes on.
Oh Lord, help me to number /order my days, hours, minutes, seconds, “so that I may gain a heart of understanding.” Psalm 90:12
“Relent Lord! How long will it be? Show compassion on your servants. Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days” Psalm 90:13-14.
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